Learning To Love Again

So…I wrote a rather long post on my Facebook and thought I would share it with all of you.  After years of saving up, I am finally going to New Zealand to see my best friend I’ve never met.  So here is the post 🙂

My mom has always had her “person” by her side, for as long as I can remember. I had always wondered what that was like, what it was like to have that one person who just understood you without you even saying a word. That one person who would just shake their head when you made a mistake, laugh with you after and never once make you feel like an ugly person because the mistake was made. That one person who just genuinely wanted to be around you, to share good times and bad times with…mom always had that person. She came when mom needed her most and never left her side. I thought I found that person…and realized how toxic that person actually was. All the while, my person was always there. She was kind and never once looked down on me. She stayed up till her eyes were blurry from exhaustion, right by my side when I had to say goodbye to jack, she was there every step of the way when I was dealing with my mom in the hospital. She was there when “friends” became none existent, she was there when I was stupid and there when I was smart. It’s funny because I thought the whole…”best friend” thing meant you had to physically be with that person, do things…go places. Sometimes I hate the internet, but it’s where my person is. We are always there for each other, “doing things” together just by messaging back and forth during events and outings. She made me see things with eyes wide open. She doesn’t care that I have other friends, she doesn’t care that I go places and dont “invite” her. Because she knows shes going to hear all about it anyway. when Jack passed, all she kept saying was that she wish she could be here, physically here and it meant the world to me but…she was always right there. Sometimes your spirit just knows that you aren’t alone. For almost half my life she has been there and the last few years it has been more apparent. She is on the other side of the world and yet always right beside me. In 124 days we will physically be beside each other and I feel like I’ve waited a life time for that to happen. I’m anxious and excited all at one time but I can’t wait. She has adventures planned when really I’d be just as happy sitting in a room just being friends in the same space. (Okay…I reallllly cant wait for Hobbiton) 21hours is a long way to travel for someone, but true and honest friendship is so hard to find and when you find it…cherish it. If you are lucky enough to find that friendship, keep it, hold on to it and don’t let it go. Sometimes it’s the only thing that gets you up in the morning. My mom always said, you’ll count your true friends on your one hand, I’d like to think I have a few more than one hand and I hope they know who they are. If you don’t, I’m sorry you are not aware and I will do better to make it more known to you in the future. If you are reading this, you are a part of my life and I want you in it. I’m not perfect…I deal with anxiety and sometimes it makes me not want to be social. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you any less. Sometimes I get trapped in my own head and I can’t get out. I try to be the positive person and sometimes I can’t see the rainbow right away, but I always find my way back. And you can too. Lean on your person, lean on your family and friends, draw strength from the love they have for you and you can get through anything. And I mean anything. That is what my person taught me…that is why this trip is so powerful and so meaningful to me. Because love comes in many forms and it will over shadow the voices in your head if you let it. If you are still reading this…thank you for being in my life <3

Today marks the one year anniversary of mom’s stroke and she is sitting next to me watching the walking dead.  I couldn’t be more happy to say that as a year ago I had no idea what was going on.  I hope you are all well out there, know that I think of you all constantly!

Dodger got his first “grownup” collar last night and hes prancing around like hes the best thing ever.  It’s adorable haha.  Athena has a new bed and usually pushes Dodger out of it.  I’m thankful that they get along and fight like real siblings.

If I don’t write before…happy holidays to all of you 🙂

<3 Kendi

Ahhh…

I love this time of the year.  It is truly the time of the year that I feel like myself for whatever reason!  Last year at this time we had so many things going on I didn’t get to enjoy Halloween really at all.  The first week of October my brother got married (I was their photographer :D) we ended up in a fight with out maintenance/apartment management and ended up leaving the complex so we had to move the second week of October (it was for the best 110%!) and we spent the rest of the month getting settled.  Plus I was without cable (gasp!) for a week or more after that so I barely got to watch AMC Fear Fest, which…was completely devastating LOL

But this year…

THIS YEAR!

I have made the best out of this entire season.  Last weekend my brother, SIL and I went up to Lancaster, PA for “Field of Screams” which was insane!  Three houses and one hayride that was fun and a bit spooky.  They had an area that was like a spooky carnival set up so that was fun as well.  About an hour and a half drive for us but a very simple ride so not too bad.

Mom has been getting around but not enough so that she could go with us sadly, but the two of us have been doing day trips as well.  We drove up to an orchard one weekend, and then we went to a pumpkin patch another.  We have also been just hanging out at home watching scary movies.  I love this time with her.  When I was younger we had a bit of a rocky relationship and then it suddenly clicked that we were more than just mother daughter, we were best friends.  I would honestly do anything for her and I just want to see her happy and living a good life.  The stroke has slowed her down a bit, but she has proven to me how strong a person can be.  She has never given up and it is something I truly admire.  We are very similar so it makes for a fun time as we are always laughing with each other.  Even if I had a bad day at work I come home and know I can relax and have a great time with her.

Here is us after we purchased the corn stalk I’ve been wanting to get for years LOL  We were the children of the corn 😀

The weather has been a bit weird here, as I am sure it is where you are as well.  It hasn’t stopped me from enjoying the fall things, even though it feels strange wearing flip flops to places!  I also started school this month.  I don’t know what I was thinking going back a year after having been in college for 6 years straight!  I feel so out of the loop now!  So far so good though, this is my Master’s and I changed my major a little bit so its going to be different.  I just hope that I can make something out of it!  Also all in the same month, my company I work for was bought out!  They are planning on making all sorts of changes.  So for a person who dos not really like change…I’m being hit left and right with it! LOL

So I know you all want to see it…here is a picture of my house right now…

If I could…I would leave it up all year.  But I guess that would look a little weird and knowing my neighbors…they would complain for sure!  I can’t believe we have lived here for a year now.  it has really been the best place we have lived ever since our home foreclosed back in 2004.  We were bounced around quite a few times but now we are here and we all love it.  I just wish I owned it!!

Lastly…

An update on this guy….

 after losing my three, he has really been a great comfort.  It’s amazing what an animal’s love for you can do to help you heal.  I love coming home to him, relaxing with him, and waking up to his little face every morning.  He brings my life light and adore him more than I thought was possible.  He chose me 3 years ago <3

Sorry for the lengthy rambled post but there ya have it.

Hope all of those who follow my blog are doing well.  Give your pets all hugs and kisses from me 🙂

<3 kendi

Whew!

Yeah I know…

If you happened by my Angel Salem’s blog a few weeks ago, you will see that I have come back 🙂

It’s been a crazy time the last year or so, a lot of changes, a lot of up hill battles.

It’s amazing to me how much that little bugger Dodger changed my life though.  He has been my constant little light that has shone the way through every up and down.

He’s incredibly attached to me, like…if Athena even LOOKS at me that cat is in her way making sure he has all of my attention!  He’s a brat!  My brat…

We lost Jack last year and it’s been really hard for me to deal with.  Mom had a stroke…

We had to move…

BUT the new house is amazing, it’s been wonderful where we are and the landlord is fantastic.

I just started weight watchers as I have gained a lot due to stress eating…so we shall see how this madness goes.  It’s only day 4 so… time will tell I guess right?

IF any one is interested…I am totally one of those people…. that’s right Dodger has an Instagram 🙂

TheGreatDodger is his handle…come check us out there 🙂

I’m going to try to update this blog more now.  Writing has always been my way of dealing… in fact my best friend (she lives in New Zealand!) and I have been writing on a story for over a year now…just to pass time and deal with things… it’s like… 5 novels probably by now hahaha 🙂 It won’t go anywhere but man it sure is fun and relaxing!

How is everyone out there???  Hope you are all doing well!

<3 Kendi and Dodger

Hello all!

This time last year I was a completely different person.  I had no idea how to handle losing Salem, especially after losing Loki so soon before him.  I thought I couldn’t go on, that I was done with life.

I couldn’t have been more wrong.

A year ago today, I convinced my mother it was a wonderful idea to donate various items to a local cat shelter.  She was leery, but thought maybe just maybe it would bring me out of my funk.

They let us into a free roam room with so many kittens it was crazy!  They were all climbing on us, wanting attention.  At one point I had three of them in my arms at one time.

Then I saw him.

He was just sitting there in a cat tree, stretched out, looking up at me with his little two toned nose.  I picked him up and he instantly nuzzled me.  I felt a tingle in my heart.

I wasn’t ready, I didn’t want another kitty.  But I also didn’t want to let him go.

When we went out to the counter I inquired about him.  They said his name was Ben Franklin, that he had been in a litter of 5 other cats, all of which had been adopted immediately.  This little tyke had been in the shelter for 6 months, just waiting.

Waiting for me.

My mom was PISSED.  She didn’t think I was ready, that I was moving too fast.  She wouldn’t even speak to me on the car ride home.  I honestly didn’t think i would even get approved, so I felt her anger was pointless.

One of my best friends in KY was the person I put down for my friend reference.  I hadn’t even gotten home and she told me they had called and she truly hoped I was able to adopt.  I was surprised they had called so fast.  When i got home, the Vet office had called, I chose the one who had helped us SO much with Salem, they too said they hoped we were able to adopt as they knew I was such an amazing kitty mom.

The next day the shelter called and said, when can you get him??  My head spun, maybe this WAS too fast…maybe I needed to slow down…think it through…but my heart…it called for him.  Mom did her…Heavy sigh you’re gonna do it anyway aren’t you noise…and I simply nodded.  To be honest…I had felt so lonely…so by myself.  My bed seemed so cold and empty.  My room felt like a cage.  I still had Jack and Athena…but I was missing that bond that only Salem and I had.  I still had yet to truly bond with Athena (however THAT has changed more than anything this last few months) I was 100% lonely.

Christmas Eve came.  I left work, not sure what was about to happen.  Was I really making the right choice here?  Mom and I went to the shelter, we waited as they got him ready, finally coming out and placing him in my arms.  I felt an instant sigh of relief, of love.  I heard mom behind me say “OMG…he’s…he’s adorable.”  I smiled brightly, snuggling his little body against my face.  I was so distracted that I didn’t notice mom had went and paid his adoption fees.  Apparently her and my brother had decided to surprise me by doing so.

We went home and I spent the night laughing and playing with him.  I named him Dodger for a reason…  A) It’s one of my all time favorite disney characters… B) The character is one of Oliver’s best friends in the movie  C) I used to sing a song from the same movie to Salem every day.  It just felt right.

In a few days not only will it be Christmas, but it will mark a year that the two of us started our journey.  He is so funny, so curious, so loving.  He’s incredibly spoiled, but so is every other animal I own…including a turtle!

He is NOT a replacement for Salem as some people seemed to think…

He is no where the same as Salem and I don’t want him to be.  He is his own kitty, he’s special and he waited for me to come get him.

My grinch heart grew a few sizes bigger that day.

My big curious boy

We all wish you a very merry HOPPY holiday season!!!

<3 Kendi Dodger Jack Athena and the angel babies Salem and Loki

Yes… I know its been about 6 months since I posted here.  I have gone through a rather rough time and have been working my butt off on top of it all.  I felt the need to be back here, especially this week.

One year ago Salem and I found our way here, I was quickly wrapped into the fold and found an amazing amount of love and friendship I never expected but am forever grateful for.

Today I decided to have a reading done.  It’s called a picture reading.  I posted a picture of myself and a psychic read it for me…  I was shocked by what she said, knowing that she absolutely has never seen or spoken to me, or can even see such things like my facebook.

Here is what she said to me…

OK
In this photo you have nine in spirit around you!!!
I’m not going to describe each one because I would be here for a while!! Lol
OK here we go…..
Your guardian angel, it will appear within a blue light!
Older male, 70-80s
Male, 60-70s
Woman, 50-60s
One of your guardians, older woman
Young male under 40
And lastly male in military fatigues
And a cat.
Whew!!

Few things I’m picking up on from your photo
Health been an issue? Thyroid? Sugar levels? Liver levels?
You have not had easy life, and you have had quite the losses.
2015 promises to be better after a rocky start in Jan 2015.
Do you enjoy writing? You should consider writing book? Or articles.
Lock all doors in home and auto.

****************

So right on the mark.  I asked for more info on the Cat… (other things too) she could only see an outline, but she did say that the cat was fairly big, had  a strong connection with me, and appeared to be black.

Just a bit of confirmation of what we all already knew <3

I hope everyone out there is good and enjoying this holiday season.

I am going to try to get back to writing here more often.

<3 Kendi

Here it is guys!!!

New Pet Photography: Dodger and Jack, Tuxedo Cat and Cocker Spaniel; Southampton, PA

By going there you will see a bunch of our pics plus a blog.  When I get home and can really get the pics for myself I will post some directly here 🙂

YAY!  More pics!!  She is teasing me now thats for sure!  It’s OUR turn for her showcase, so I will be getting random images for the next few days/week and then I will get them all with a wonderful blog post about the adventure, I will be sure to share her post on here when I see it!

Ive been very busy lately and staying to myself.  However, I am very excited to try to make home made dog treats for my etsy shop once I get some time.  I have something up my sleeve also, while on break from school, I started a program for Vet Assistant.  I am very excited and hope I am able to see it through!

One last thing… a month ago I made a hard decision, I mailed Loki and Salem’s collars to AZ, not knowing if I would ever see them again, chancing the idea of losing them forever, entrusting my friend with them, not knowing her plans.  I got this in the mail today…

In the end… I have some pretty amazing friends after all 🙂

Hi everyone!

I have been very busy lately 🙂  https://www.etsy.com/shop/SalemBynxsCreations

So there is the shop link, i have added some homemade beds, a bunch of cat toys and I am currently working on doggy toys as well.  Any suggestions?  I can also make the beds any size, so let me know if you are interested 😉

I made up business cards and have been handing them out, leaving them on community boards, etc.  I am currently working on my first sale, so we will see.

Life has been interesting here lately.  I am so close to graduating school and they took away the scholarships program so now with TWO classes left I have to pay out of pocket.  So for the first time in 6 years Im taking a break for a semester and then I will go back in the fall to finish.  Its annoying and yeah I cried a bit, but it’s really whats best I think.

Dodger is growing up so fast.  Its hard to believe that in two months it will be a whole year since I lost my Loki.  I look at Dodge and I remember when he was just a little furball.  It makes me wish I got to see Loki and Salem as tiny little buggers, but I am so honored to have had the wonderful 8 years I did with them.  To this day I see both of them in Dodger, it warms my heart.

Athena has been finally coming around.  She spends the night in my room often now and usually on Salem’s blanket.  Perhaps she misses him too.

I hope all of you are well, I think of all of you often! (especially you Sally <3)

Kendi

Hi everyone!  Just a quick hello and a quick link so that everyone can keep up to date on the pet toy business I am trying to build 🙂

https://www.facebook.com/SalemsCreations

I am even starting up dog toys.  Anything anyone is interested in me trying to make???

Ok so I had a little adventure where I took Jack and Dodger out to the park and let this awesome woman Lauren take photos of them.  I was only sent a few as she is teasing the CRAP out of me but here are what I was sent!!!