Learning To Love Again

I promised Sally and Hannah that I would write about the life of Loki.  So here we go…

My mom was never a cat person, but she had started to really get used to Salem, one day she told me about this poor kitty that she found outside.  She saw him all the time, *I* on the other hand never did and was starting to think she was making up tales.  I was out on the porch one day and saw a kitty following the pizza guy going to the apartment next to us.  I asked her if that was the kitty and she was so excited I finally saw him.  He looked hungry so we decided to put a small bowl of food out and see what happens.

The next day he was waiting outside of our door.

The very first picture

He was skinny, covered in fleas and had some bad teeth, one tooth was actually outside his lip, cutting into his upper lip.  Someone in the complex had put a flea collar on him and we soon discovered who it was.  A neighbor that was worried about him but could not take him in.  We continued to feed him and were trying to decide what on earth we would do.  I would see him nearly get run over, sleeping under my car and sleeping in our bush.  I decided to take one of Jack’s old dog beds outside and see what he would do then.  He would come there every single night and sleep.  Salem discovered him and would sit inside just watching him.

I dunno mom….

It was october and it was starting to get really cold out.  I began to worry about this little guy.  We decided it was time to bring him in, maybe, clean him up and get him a home.  My brother had just gotten himself in some trouble and was sitting in jail.  Mom and I were a little lonely, and we had a room to be able to put him in until we decided what to do.  I wanted to take him from outside to the vet, so I had made an appointment.  I knew where he was the whole time, went to get my friend, came back and he was GONE.  It started to completely down pour, I couldn’t find him anywhere, so here we were walking around my complex in the pouring rain asking if anyone had seen him.  I had finally decided to give up when there he was, out of the rain, and under my car.  I looked at him and he got out from underneath and followed me to our door.  I very easily picked him up, put him in a carrier and we off to the vet.  I was a little afraid of what they would say to be honest.

The vet told us, he was a boy, he was healthy and all he had was bad teeth and fleas!  So he got all his shots and I got a flea bath to give him once I got home to get rid of anything that wasn’t killed by the med they had given him there.  Easy right?

Wrong.

My friend and I bring him up to the bathroom, she gets in the tub sorta and I sat down outside of it holding him.  The second he got wet he did the ole, kitty no like scream fest and went flying.  I still have a scar from his back nails (he was declawed as well and outside!)  I threw him into the sink and we finished the job.  WHEW!  No more fleas!!!

When he went back for his recheck it was decided that the teeth needed to go.

Snaggle tooth

ALL of them!  He only had the little tiny teeth in the front bottom.  We were told he would not eat anything hard, well he proved them wrong there.  All he wanted was hard food and boy he sure ate it!  Even right after having them removed.  Stubborn.

We soon discovered he was going to do whatever he wanted rather we liked it or not!  But as you probably know by now, most of the time it was hilarious.  He also LOVED drinking from the bathroom sink.  He would follow anyone in there and hop up on the sink.

We called him “camel”

It became known in our house by everyone that you just let him follow, otherwise he’d figure out how to get in the bathroom anyway! His little paw would slip under the door and hed figure it out.

We had him for a few years before we learned that he was diabetic.  I was so scared, I had never heard of such a thing in cats.  I was very lucky to have found a site that was all about diabetic cats.  They even sent us a free monitor, strips, a rice bag and a tag for his collar that said hes on meds and needs to be taken to a vet if found.  I quickly discovered their group on facebook and was comforted to know that I wasn’t the only one.  They were able to answer my questions more so than my vet!

In August he took a turn for the worse and was having trouble walking.  We rushed him to the ER vet and were told his kidneys were trying to fail.  For a week we took him every single night there and he received fluid treatments.  He started to get better and then on the last day, all day I had a bad feeling.  Even called my mom from work several times asking about him.  I got home and sat with him for a long time.  He wasn’t eating and that was something he had always done.   Eat and drink, always.  My mom had to work that night and my brother was sick, so I went to take him for his treatment alone.  It had been taking about 15-20 mins every night but this time was different.  I even saw the door open and saw our vet sitting there looking upset.  That bad feeling grew even more.  She finally came out and had said that his ketones had sky rocketed and that he had even lost some weight.  His vitals were low and she honestly was giving him about 24 hrs.  I was beside myself.  here I was alone for the first time the entire week and now I was going to have to make a decision all on my own.  I had never had to make this type of decision.  None of us had.

I called my mom at work and she told me that I would know if it was time and I had the job to make sure he didn’t suffer.  My brother said the same.  My friend came to sit with me (the one whos not speaking to me btw) and she took some photos of us together and of him.  I sat and cried and cried and held him and loved him.  I sang him our song and asked him what he wanted.  The second those words came out of my mouth he moved around, nuzzled my neck, gave me one of his kitty kisses and started to slowly breathe.  We had thought they had given him something, but they hadn’t.  i knew.  I wanted so badly for my family to be there, but it wasn’t possible.  When I had decided it was time, he went very quickly as he was so weak.

There are times that I still blame myself for making the decision.  For not “trying” more but I also know that I had tried everything I could.  I had exhausted myself and my bank account, all for him.  I still had furbabies at home that needed me.  I had no idea just how much one of them was about to need me either.

Sleepy head

I am honored that he picked us over all those other people in the complex.  I am so happy that we were able to bring him inside and love him and clean him up.  It makes me mad to think that maybe he was dumped, or left behind when he was such a great kitty.  So full of life even to the end.  I miss the feel of his cold ears, the smell of his fur and the way his tail always had a life of its own.   I miss how he would meow or “talk” to you if you spoke to him.  Like you were having a conversation.  My mom called him our social butterfly because he come and be around everyone.  He loved playing with Jack and he would lay with him and they would chase toys together.  He would sit downstairs in a chair and if you couldn’t find him somewhere, thats where he would be.  I could sit here and write on and on about how wonderful Loki was and how much he touched our lives.  But I shall end this here.

So, what do you guys wanna know about now?? 🙂

<3 Kendi and Guardian Loki